Showbusiness: Me And My Motor

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Subject: Me And My Motor

Last Update:
February 9, 1998

This article by Nick Paton Walsh is from The Guardian, 19.2.1998

Me and My Motor - Alice Nutter of Chumbawamba

"I've got a white C reg Nissan Cherry. It's a great car, totally boring and a compete skip. It's got a dent in the side so you can't open the passenger door. I bought it off a friend for 500 quid. I wouldn't have had a clue how to look in the paper to get one. I've only washed it twice in three years. Once, I made it worse so you couldn't see out of the window.

It took me nine times to pass my driving test. It was nerves, sheer nerves, and even then I wouldn't go over 30. I'm a Sunday driver, me. Grandma out on a Sunday. If I take risks, it's only because I'm gormless. I've never had a prang. When I first passed my test I got stoned one night because I'd forgotten I had the car. I went about 10 yards when I realised I was following the white line in the middle of the road. I thought, 'never again'. I never drink and drive. Ever. I do stupid things when I am entirely sober. What is the point in tempting fate?

I'd never have sex with anybody with a new car. Four doors I think is too flash. Anything that Class War would smash up I wouldn't want - not a Porsche, none of these low-slung status symbols. There's no reason why we shouldn't have electric cars. It's not like we'd get electrocuted when it rained. And if I had kids, a car wouldn't be a consideration. If I had a kid I'd put it down the pit at three.

I spent my earlier days hitchhiking around all over England. The weirdest one was this solicitor who told us he'd done a bit of embezzlement at work. Basically, he was going to get the sack if he didn't come back with cane marks on his arse. This story got really long and involved but it's climax was 'Will you spank me?'. I basically reacted 'Umh... Well not today'.

We've had loads of trouble with the law. We used to get pulled over every single night when we came home from gigs. Then we got this van which said Young Christian Cyclists on the side. Before that, we used to get stopped every time we were on our way home. It was like a ritual, you know: 'Here we go again'. If you're a copper, you don't have to obey the law. They will pull you over because you're a load of punky-looking people in a scruffy van, and you must be doing something illegal.

I make driving compilations, like Petula Clarke's Downtown mixed with dance, then a bit of Nat King Cole, then a bit of punk. If I am going on a long journey, I make 10 driving tapes and sing all the way there."